Ryan Greenwood arrived on a Thursday. Perfect, as he said, to be ready for the Friday night. He had indeed something in mind. And this something was that I had to go with him in some bars around the City. "It's time for you to meet people !". Yes, Ryan Greenwood understood at first sight what my problem was, and why I needed a roommate. At the second sight, he said it was going to be difficult. But not impossible.

As I was single, and it was clear things wouldn't change in a week or two, I had two possibilites if I didn't want to stay alone. I could go back to my parent's or I could find a roommate. When you have an overprotected mother whose unique obsession is to be sure each leaf of her plants is clean, and a father who keeps watching games on television, and secretly hopes to take part in one, if not all, of them, you can understand I went for the second option. I didn't want to become my mum's new plant or watch "Who Wants To Be A Millionnaire" with my father, who, by the way, thinks he knows everything about everything, and who, when it appears he didn't have the correct answer, really thinks those who wrote the question made a mistake. So I went for the second option. I went for Ryan Greenwood.

First, Ryan Greenwood was just a name among... no others. He was the only one who answered. I thought that among a hundred of small ads, mine wouldn't seem so desperate. But I guess I was wrong. He didn't know it yet when we agreed to meet, but my choice was already made. I had no choice. I was just hoping this guy wasn't all you can fear about a roommate: dirty, noisy, and all these words in -y. And I really hoped he could pay his part of the rent. Though it wasn't really a problem, as I had paid it alone for three years. It was just on principle, and because I guessed this was a priority for those who are searching for a roommate. Yes, I wanted Ryan Greenwood thought I was used to that. But in fact, it appeared he was used to that.

"Don't worry for the money... I have...". These were the first words of Ryan Greenwood. A blond and smart guy, with a kind of Swedish sparkling smile (how many teeth does he have ?), well-dressed, better than me for sure, between twenty-five and thirty (I'm not good at that game, as I learned later he is thirty-four). In a few words, he had everything to make a good first impression.

- "You have money ? So I guess you work ?"

- "Yeah... just some stuff here and there... you know you can make a lot of money with internet. And that's my job."

- "Internet ? You have your company or something ?"

- "No... I am my own company. And you know what's the real pleasure in all that ? I don't have to move. I do everything from my home. I wake up when I want, I don't waste time in the traffic jam, I don't have boring colleagues..."

- "But what do you exactly do..."

- "Hey... I won't tell you everything about me without knowing if you keep me..."

- "If I... keep you... You mean, if I choose you..."

- "Well... yeah... keep... choose... You get the idea... So do I have a chance ?"

- "I don't know."

- "Come on. I know how it works. I know you're going to meet about ten other weird guys. Do I look like I'm going to ruin your life ? Believe me, the others guys won't help you as I can help you !"

- "What ??? What do you mean ?"

- "I mean you need someone to spice up your life... Sorry these are not my own words... but let me be your Spice Boy. You need someone who can open new doors to you. And I'm the one ! You look like you're lonely for 10 years..."

- "Three years !"

- "Ok... I know you need a roommate to break your loneliness. Well, it won't be easy... There's a lot of work there..."

- "Don't point your finger at me like that... I feel like I'm a monster..."

- "Hey... Calm down ! So indeed, it won't be easy, but it's not impossible... Unless you choose someone else !"

I never told to Ryan there was noone else. But I'm sure somehow he knew it. Anyway, I did like I had other guys to meet, and I only called him back three days later. He really seemed happy: "You won't regret it !". And one week later, I knew I would regret it.

Do you know what's the best thing about love ? When it's over, you know it will come back. No matter what happened. No matter if it hurt you. You want it back. With the same person or with someone else. No matter. It will be back. We all need love. We all want love. The only problem: you never know when it comes back. Times becomes your worst enemy. And I am in a period of my life where I don't need enemies. Time goes by but it goes faster than me. Days become weeks. Weeks become months. Months become years. Three years exactly.

Friends always tell you they knew it wouldn't have last. They want you to take some drinks. Beers or whatever. Just to forget. And they drink with you, just like if they also had something to forget. And they have something to forget. Or to be forgiven for: if they knew it, why the hell didn't they tell it. And so you drink. But hey, it doesn't work. Not only you can't forget, but you have a headache. Well that's what happens when you have friends. But I lost my friends for my love. And my headache has not stop for three years now.

Of course I try to go out. I try... but it doesn't work. I can't hide my loneliness. It's written everywhere on my body. From my head to my toes. From my smiles to my tears. How could I smile when I have noone who makes me happy ? How could I cry when I have noone to worry for ? And believe, if you have that word written on your face, you don't attract people. I could laugh about me and my situation, but it would make me cry. Cruel, isn't it ? Well it is from my point of view. But from another point of view, yours for instance, it could be funny to follow this story of a guy who wants to become the best guy in town and meet people.

My name is Joshua William Lawton. And this is the story of my new life. The story about my fight against my loneliness. And the first step to reach my goal is to find someone to live with. So this is the first round. This is the first chapter.